Becoming your horse's Personal Trainer

Recently, my coach shared an analogy, highlighting how we, as dressage riders, can see ourselves as personal trainers for our equine partners. As I train with a Personal Trainer once a fortnight, this perspective resonates deeply with me. (Thankfully, Ollie’s “trying hard face” is a lot more attractive than mine!)

Much like a personal trainer's role, we act as guides, encouraging our horses to put in that extra effort, to try a bit harder, and to continually grow.

As personal trainers are there to help improve physical abilities, we, as dressage riders, pay close attention to our horses' natural movements, strengths, and areas that need improvement. Our goal is to create a customized training regimen that addresses both the horse's physical development and nurtures their mental well-being. Setting the bar higher, stretching abilities, and providing the support needed for personal growth characterize both personal training and dressage riding.

Drawing on this parallel, personal training brings accountability and focus to workouts, helping individuals stay committed and resolved. As riders, we can relate to the physical challenges and occasional soreness that come with personal training sessions.

In the dressage arena, communication is key. We use subtle cues, aids, and body language to guide our horses through intricate patterns and movements, aiming to achieve harmony and unity, fostering a partnership built on trust and understanding.

Similar to how a personal trainer progresses clients through various exercises to achieve specific fitness goals, we progress our horses through different levels of competitions, involving specific training and various movements. Emphasizing gradual improvement is essential to ensure that the horse develops the strength and skills required for more advanced movements, avoiding rushing and setting the horse up for failure or injury in this collaborative journey.

The relationship between a dressage rider and their horse goes beyond mere instruction; it involves a deep connection and mutual respect. We invest time and patience, recognizing the individuality of each horse and tailoring our approach accordingly. Through consistent, positive reinforcement and a keen understanding of our horse's needs, we guide our equine partners toward peak performance.

Ultimately, just as a personal trainer celebrates their client's achievements, we take pride in the progress and success of our horses. The bond we forge is a testament to the dedication and partnership between rider and horse, creating a harmonious dance in the arena that reflects the beauty of equestrian athleticism and teamwork.

So, over to you… if you were your horses Personal Trainer, what would you do differently??

One bad ride...

If you are a rider, you would know the feeling when you get off your horse after a bad ride. The horse and you didn’t quite connect, an old behavioural pattern crept back in, and maybe things really felt like they were totally falling apart.

Riders take those bad rides to heart - they hurt, deep on the inside. There is self-doubt, self-judgement and in some cases self-loathing. It is not a very nice place to be in, I’m sure you would agree.

After having had a really successful return to riding and competing Ollie after having our son William in March, a few weeks ago I was on top of the world. Ollie and I had had our FEI Small tour debut with over 65%, we felt secure in our work and really aligned in our connection and communication.

Then I changed something. You see, Ollie is a SUPER sensitive young man who loves his routine. Rainy days with no paddock time, definitely has an effect on him physically, but also mentally. Getting him used to the double bridle took a long time and lots of fiddling with nosebands and bits until we found the perfect combination for him. The combination was my coaches horse’s set up, so I had been riding Ollie in her double for quite a while… Now, I bought the same set up, same noseband, same bits, but I tried on for the first time on a windy day and didn’t have it on the same holes (or maybe it was just the feeling of the new noseband compared to a worn in one - who knows?!). Whatever it was…things fell apart. In a tear-inducing kinda way.

After weeks and months of great feelings during our rides, positive feedback from judges, coach and friends, it all came crumbling down in one day, after one bad ride. How is that even possible?!

Yes, we humans have a negative bias. This means we have a natural tendency to focus on the bad stuff. According to research we do this so much, that we need to threefold the positive to make up for our natural negative tendency!

Here are the things I learnt from my recent bad ride:

• Horses are more forgiving than we think. My Equine Assisted Counselling teacher said this to me and it is so true. In human relationships there is a concept called “rupture and repair”, which basically means that all relationships will face some stress at some point, and it is part of longterm relationships to re-strengthen the relationship by repairing (apologising, making amends). Compared to us humans, horses are very forgiving partners who give us more slack than some of our human counterparts, and sometimes even than we give ourselves 💛 For Ollie and me, it still took weeks to get back to our normal trusted relationship and ease of riding, but there is a lot of generosity horses bring into our partnership for us to get another chance to get it right.

• These bad rides can give us a magnifying glass perspective of what was brewing to go wrong in our training. By bringing it to the surface in a very direct and obvious way it allows us to unpack and deal with it and correct training habits that were taking us down a wrong path. And/Or they can also be a sign to review our horse care routine: is there an underlying (medical) reason why your horse has changed? What is different that may have affected your horse’s behaviour? In our case, we checked Ollie for Ulcers and found out that the competition stress may require some preventative ulcer medication.

• Remember to look at the long term (monthly / yearly) developments rather than focussing in on that one ride or week. Taking that step back we can see waaaaaayyyy more clearly where we are headed, and if we are happy with that destination. Even if we review and reflect on our riding journey regularly and make little adjustments, sometimes it takes these big blow ups to shake things up and put us on a new path.

Ollie and I are getting back on track and I feel every time we go through these dips (as much as I dislike them), I come out a better rider and partner on the other side.

So, if you have just had one of those bad rides… Firstly, Relax. You are not alone!

Take a deep breath, thank your horse for being such a good sport, explore what you can learn from that ride and focus on the longterm picture!

You got this!

A x

How my daughter is teaching me to be a better rider

Recently our four-year-old daughter has been acting up. Meltdowns as soon as we don’t allow something she’s asked for, frustration levels peaking if she can’t do something at the first go, storming off, yelling, slamming doors… Not fun!

The sleep deprived, tired and impatient part of me (also being a new mum to her five months old brother) wants to respond to this sort of behaviour with firmness and authority, insisting on boundaries in an attempt to shut down the unwanted behaviour.

Interestingly, I’ve noticed similar scenarios playing out in the dressage arena when training Ollie recently.

Ollie is generally a very willing horse, who tries his heart out for me. But when he feels overwhelmed, set up for failure or treated unfairly, he makes his frustration known. He communicates this to me by becoming unresponsive to the leg, trying to take over the contact and storming off with his head in the air. Nothing dramatic, but nevertheless a clear message saying: “Stop! I don’t like what you’re doing. I am not on your team right now.”

Same as with Alma, things would just escalate if I tried to tackle this behaviour head on. With a horse like Ollie I physically can’t, but even more so, I don’t WANT to ride (or parent) in this old, dominating way.

So, I have opted into applying a more collaborative, more gentle, more positive approach. When I feel Ollie tensing I now back off for one or two strides, giving him “some space to breathe,” as my coach would say. I now start with the easiest version of an exercise and then make it more challenging, rather than rushing into the harder work too quickly when he mentally and physically isn’t ready for it. I try to distract him when he gets hung up on an exercise, rather than pushing through and telling him to get on with it.

Looking back, I realise that in the past I may have asked too much of him too quickly. I may have been too strict, not allowing mistakes to be part of his and my learning journey. Some horses cope with that (like my old horse Revi), but Ollie is a very sensitive soul and needs a different approach. And by being this way, he is making me a better and more compassionate rider!

As a goal-oriented rider, I often compare myself in my training with where I would like to be in the future. This is very helpful in keeping me motivated, even during challenging periods like during non-competition times (COVID, rain, pregnancy), but I am learning to simultaneously ground myself in the current moment, and ride each movement and my horse as he presents himself in that moment. This has worked so much better than constantly comparing him and myself to the end goal, and feeling frustrated that we are not there yet. All I can do right now is work on the ‘here and now’. This helps me be more empathetic, less emotional and more calm, and creates an overall happier and harmonious partnership between Ollie and me.

Of course we still need to deal with challenges in our training and work on correcting mistakes, but the energy is a different one: more balanced and kind, less rushed and demanding.

Those of you who are also parents may be wondering how this is unfolding in my parenting of Alma… And it is strikingly similar! Distracting her attention from the things she is fixated on with something else; making chores more fun by incorporating games; inviting her into my space, showing compassion for her state and remaining in whatever energy she is with her; encouraging progress and learning, not perfection. It may not always seem like the most direct path, but as in life, the scenic route is often the one we can enjoy more, acknowledging the beauty of the journey and not just being focussed on arriving the quickest.

PS: Training horses is still way easier than parenting! 

Riding the ups and downs

“Yoga teaches us how to find a stable self within us, one that is calm through the ups and downs.” Dr. Ganesh Mohan

Recently, I was incredibly fortunate to spend a week hiking and camping on the Larapinta trail in the Northern Territory with my dad, as part of a Habitat for Humanity fundraising initiative. The nature there initially seemed foreign and harsh to me (a girl who grew up in soft lush green forests and fields in Germany), but the more I settled into my unfamiliar surroundings, the more I “arrived” on the local country through walking in it every day, the more I was able to discover its raw beauty.

The thing that left a big impression on me was the radical changes in nature according to the seasons. Seasons in the desert are not necessarily linked to summer and winter, but wet and dry.

I was very touched by the burnt down trees and the hopeful green new sprouts growing out of black, completely dead-looking stems. It was nature’s way of saying that sometimes, the old needs to die for the new to emerge…

I often see this reflected when I am teaching students; often, just before a breakthrough happens, a new insight is gained or level reached, they feel like everything is falling apart.

Frustration, doubt and confusion are important components to help us move from old perspective to new higher level of understanding.

Returning back to my own riding training, I found myself in this exact spot. Beginning training again after some time off after a disappointing competition, I was doubting myself, feeling lost and insecure. “How am I supposed to coach other riders, and teach them about the power of yoga to improve your riding when I can’t get it right myself?!” I felt like an imposter and cheat, embarrassed and ashamed….

John Haime (author of “Ride Big”), refers to this eloquently

“Remember that everything that involves performance goes in cycles, and there will be ups and downs. This is important for you to know. If you feel your confidence slipping away, you have the choice to reel it in. Remind yourself that your confidence is built in steps over time and will last through small down cycles in your performance. You don’t lose confidence. You ultimately chose to lose it. You must take responsibility and choose to be proactive with your confidence.”

So, it was up to ME to get myself out of this downward mental spiral!

Things that helped me rebuild my confidence and find my mojo are these:

• a regular yoga practice

• taking good care of myself (an attitude of kindness and compassion)

• seeking support from someone I trust (coach, friends)

• an attitude of acceptance and trust that “this will too pass”

Anyone who has been there (and seriously, who hasn’t?!) knows the sweet taste of re-emerging on the other side of such a “dip” and I’m happy to feel like we’re getting back into our groove again!

Here’s to the new greens sprouting!

Now over to you:

• What was the last time hit the downward spiral?

• And what strategies helped you get back out?? 

I’d love to hear from you! :)

As Glennon Doyle (author of “Untamed”) says…

“We can do hard things”!

Yes, we can!

Namaste,

A